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The Duds are an enlightened group of individuals with mostly uneventful lives. here you can see just how boring they really are.
Many Duds also have their own blogs: Teradud's BlogDickybod's BlogNonnesuch's BlogMegatrobe's BlogDeutsches D's BlogLinks to fun stuff: NationstatesThis is a simple nation simulation game which us duds have grown quite addidcted to over the last year, look up "the imperium of might" if you ever decide to sign on Weebl and BobFunny flash cartoons Rathergood.comMore funny flash cartoons Some light listening while you read:
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Friday, February 27, 2004
Why is there a Typo in the Pot Noodle Slogan?
I was channel hopping just now when they played the advert for Pot Noodles, you know, the one where the man is going around various porn shops asking for a Pot Noodle, blah blah blah. Anyway, the tagline at the end is: "Its Dirty, and you want it"
Now i'm sure theres a mistake there. Surely it should be : "It's Dirty, and you want it exterminated form the world." I mean, Pot Noodles are the most disgusting "food" on the planet. They are runny, hard, tasteless, bland, sickening and BLOODY HOT all at the same time. What is the point of them anyway, its just coking for those with no etiquette. I cannot imagine a family sitting down to dine upon a Pot Noodle each, and if they are, what is wrong with society?
Destroy them all, they are nasty, they're wrong, they shouldn't be allowed. Foolish creators...
Posted at 09:44 pm by DickyBod
I seem to be feeling fairly good today (that's hormones for you), and can't seem to think of anything to rant about. Well, as I always say: 'When you can't blame anyone, blame America'. Ok, so it's the first time I've said that....
I shall now proceed to blaim America for all my troubles.
1) Global Warming. America/Bush refuses to cut down on greenhouse gas emissions, contributing to the greenhouse effect, possibly eventually destroying the planet.
2) Fossil Fuels. America continues to use fossil fuels as their largest source of energy. These will run out in a few hundred years, and then we will HAVE to use others. They also pollute. (ok, England also uses a lot of these, but I wont mention that :) )
3) Energy wastage. 1% of American energy is used up because computers are left on overnight, normally doing nothing, and for no good reason. Apparently. This is also using up those presious fossil fuels.
4) Gun Crime. With the legalisation of guns in America, I wont be surprised if the UK soon does the same. American culture is also to blaim for our rise in gun crime.
5) America is one of the only countries not to sign an agreement to provide minimum standards for children
6) Evil corporations. McDonalds and CocaCola, possibly the 2 most evil corporations have invaded the UK and are poisoning our people.
7) Obesity. Due to McDonalds and fast food from America, about 1 in 3 adults will be obese by 2020, or something like that.
8) World hunger. I heard that the American military budget is enough to feed the entire third world. There is no way they can possibly need all that money on the military.
9) English. First they steal our language. Then they change our words. Then they use a really annoying high-pitch accent.
10) Stupidity. A significant proportion of American High-School children can not name a country in Asia.
With America looking so 'cool', many people from the UK wish to copy their lifestyle. I don't want this to happen, is the summary of my rant.
To summarise the summary: England is turning American.
To summarise the summary of the summary: America is a problem.
That's all folks! Posted at 08:24 pm by Teradud
Dick and Dom are annoying
Just a short rant today for I'm going oot.
Dick and Dom in "da" bungalow is the most pathetic idea to appeal to children
what is it?
It is 2 20 year olds acting like fools for 3 hours that seems like an eternity. One of their favorite activities is to go into public places and say "bogey" at different levels of noise to see what the reaction is. What is entertaining about that?! Its all in all a poorly conceived idea which seems like it was made by the makers of the tweenies trying to appeal to older viewers. I best not get started on the tweenies because I could go on forever.
Posted at 06:37 pm by Deutsches D
Thursday, February 26, 2004
Annoying American phrases
Still on the subject of Americans
WHY THE HELL ARE THEY SO ARROGANT AND IGNORANT!
Here is a list of annoying American phrases
1. We saved your ass in WW2
As an answer to that. America got its ass kicked by a Developing country with very little force and not a major world superpower with a massive army like us. Secondly America only helped us when it suited them and would have gladly let us perish so I don't see why we are so thankful to them for letting us suffer daily bombings from Germany. Thanks to world war 2 we lost our superpower status (France too) from having no money left from having to rebuild on top of paying for armed forces. Whereas Americans sat tight at home with no death or destruction raining down on them and watched their economy grow. We also never actually lost the war but had a small boost of US soldiers which didn't help much. We should thank the Russians for storming Berlin in 1945. They did more work than Americans.
2. You don't speak English at all, you guys speak a whole different language.
How can that be the case when we are English!? We invented this language and you hijacked it to alter with as you see fit and then trying to impose it on our impressionable youth
3. Do you know the queen?
Do you know the president?! How would I know the queen when she's all over the country at different times and doesn't exactly fraternise with us "commoners"
FOOLS! Posted at 08:06 pm by Deutsches D
Violence doesnt solve anything
The statement in my title is a firm belief of mine, violence truly doesnt solve anything. Imagine two people have had a disagreement over a certain topic, each one having opposing views. The atmosphere becomes tense and these people get violent, they start to engage in a full-blown fight. Eventually one man is knocked unconcious, and so the other man is the victor. But this make the other man change his view, the fight did noting to persaude him over to the other side, and so his view will not change and nothing will have been accomplished. If instead the two men had began a debate, each trying to convince the other that their oppinion was correct, then ground may have been gained, they may have come to some sort of agreement over the subject.
But what makes someone resort to violence, what is it that makes some people so quick to anger and so eager to cause damage and pain. There are people out there who will "start on you" over the simplest of things, ones which they would not hesitate to do to others and which most of us would simply ignore. I believe that most of these people are either insecure or show-offs. Think about it, why cant they take something as simple as a minor insult, or an accidental push? Is there soul just too weak? They must feel strong emotions in order to summon up all of that rage which means that they must not be able to "take" such an ocurrance.
As ive said before, i find the idea of "hardness" intruiging. This word is supposed to carry ideas of bravery, of keeping your cool in a situation. But I do not see it this way. To me someone who considers themselves "hard" is really just an arrogant prat, with a fuse so short that they'll start getting angry over anything. They would probably find it amusing to start a fight, as if its somehow entertaining. I dont understand how starting a fight over anything is brave, how could it be brave to challenge someone, usually with superior numbers, over such false and weak principles.
Vandalism is also an odd thing. Why would someone ever feel the urge to destroy a phone box or shatter the glass at a bus stop. So, not content with picking on people, they've now decided to display their hardness, their bravery and cool as they would define it, by declaring war on inannimate objects. Somehow it has come to them that they have the right to ruin an area just for petty laughs, that they should be allowed to degrade peoples homes and inconvenience so many. I dont understand them at all, how is violence entertaining? Why is it enjoyable to see an area fall into depression? Surely they could find something better to do.
Posted at 07:16 pm by Jon
Before I start today's rant (sorry I didn't post yesterday, I was... busy...) I shall post this little poem I found, which I think is rather good (well, compared to Heaney and Clarke anyway)
I think mice
Are rather nice.
Their tails are long,
Their faces small,
They haven't any
Chins at all.
Their ears are pink,
Their teeth are white,
They run about
The house at night.
They nibble things
They shouldn't touch
And no one seems
To like them much.
But I think mice
Are nice.
wasn't that a good poem?
Anyway, today's rant. As I was walking home from shool, I noticed that the local bus stop had graffiti over the timetable and the glass behind the bench. This graffiti looks awful, and it's even worse as I walk past the bus stop every day, and only a few weeks earlier that glass had been new, because someone had smashed it (youths no doubt). What is the point of graffiti? I really can't see any gain to the offender, as they are risking being caught. They have now totally ruined a bus stop, which will probably take several hundred pounds to replace, comming out of the tax-payers money! This money can then be no longer spent on school or helath supplies. Graffiti is a waste of money, and THERE IS NO GAIN FROM IT!! I really think that if someone is caught vandalising public property they should be made to pay AND fined several thousand pounds. I would also suggest 5 years in jail, if they weren't all full up already. These youths are making the town look horrible, and make it a less pleasant place to live, and most are getting away with it, and if they are caught, they only get a caution!!! I would like someone to tell me why people do this. Posted at 05:12 pm by Teradud
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Big Brother could be watching you soon
AVAST YE ALL!
Its time for another Dave Rant.
The subject of today's rant is how we lose our civil rights because of fear of a terrorist attack.
David Blunkett the home secretary today outlined an inicitve to secure Britain from terrorism. These plans suggested tapping phones to use as evidence to bring convicted terrorists to justice. I'm all for stopping THOSE BASTARD TERRORIST WHO BELIEVE THEY ARE COMMANDED BY GOD TO KILL. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING BUT RELIGION IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO KILL PEOPLE GET IT! THANKS TO THEM EVERYONE, ESPECIALLY AMERICA, IS PARANOID ARRRRRGGGH! But anyway I don't think we should have our private lives infiltrated by a constantly causious government even in a case such as this. The problem is this kind of thing makes us more and more like our paranoid American (twice removed, and twice disowned) cousins. Why do we as a nation aspire to be like the Americans and try to use systems like their which are known to be poor. That's the world we live in.
P.S if this rant is being tapped I am not a terrorist but I am just a adolescent who doesn't like being observed by the (American style aspiring) government.
Posted at 07:02 pm by Deutsches D
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Games Lessons and Exercise
Todays rant shall be at a much more personal level, probably to no inpotance to any people outside the duds (my group of friends, if anyone still does not know)
Today's last lesson for me and megatrobe at school happened to be games. (wait, it gets worse!). Not only was it football, already described as a horrible sport, but it was on the exceptionally muddy school field, now less than half covered with grass. To top it off, IT WAS RAINING AND IT WAS F*****G FREEZING!
Now, I'm not saying that games lessons are a bad idea, a lot of kids could do with the exercise, but do we have to do it outside when it is raining? Personally, I think it would be a much better idea if all games lessons took place inside during the winter and outside during the summer. It's torture to go outside when it's about 5 degrees and pissing down with rain. MOST OF US WERE IN SHORTS! And then you see the teacher standing at the edge of the football pitch with a huge coat on, really thivk trousers staring at us. I swear he's laughing at us... But I think it is very dangerous to to play sports on a wet field anyway, people could easily slip over, or failing that they could catch a cold from the freezing weather.
As I said, I don't think the games lesson itself is bad, exercise is good for you (supposedly), which brings me on to my next point, linked with Megatrobe's complaints about big companies. The number of overweight children in this country is drastically increasing, a result of modern fast food chains and easy pre-packed foods (crisps, burgers etc). These fast food restaurants are only interested in making a profit, no matter how much damage they have on the young people of society. Why can the government put taxes on fast food like they do on cigarettes and petrol, all are contributing to an over-worked health service. The ammount of fat and grease that is put into fast food is astronomical, far more than needed, topped off with far more salt that is needed. These unhealthy foods contribute to diseases such as diabetes, all of which could be avoided if fast-food restaurants and junk food were made more expensive. I for one have vowed never to eat McDonalds food again, it's disgusting, it's unhealty, and it's not needed. Apparently this generation of children are the first generation in however many years to have a shorter life expectancy than their parents. My final summing up: Increase taxes on/ban junk food.
Posted at 08:14 pm by Teradud
Hi everyone here is my only rant of today (I think)
As you may or may not know. Mr George W Bush, President of the USA (that's sure not what Arabs call it) has begun his campaign of re-election. He has promised to lower taxes and to make the world safer for Americans. What I want to know is how can that deluded moron expect to do this. As we have seen in his first term he has made the world twice as dangerous by invading Afghanistan (My Grandad was Afghan so this is somewhat of an insult to me and my family) and Iraq, these have caused the world to further destabilize. The world also cannot expect America to chip in to help the environment. Here we see America, the biggest polluter of the world backing out of an agreement to prevent global warming which has screwed up the weather already as you can tell. This was done to help the US economy grow. Well this is what pulling out of Kyoto has done for Bush, America has slid into recession and there is growing unemployment in the US today due to this. Well done George. I don't see how lowering taxes will help him with this problem but unfortunately in America the greediest of all the capitalist states, money talks and this may win him the election sadly. THE FOOLISH GREEDY AMERICANS! WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE SUCH MORINIC FOOLS WITH HEADS FULL OF NOTHING BUT CONSUMERIST RANTS LIKE "LADY WHERES MY BURGER, I ORDERED IT 4 MINUTES AGO. But if to them their waste line is the only thing that matters should we be surprised such a fool could become president anyway.
Have a nice day while you still can.
Posted at 07:28 pm by Deutsches D
Neo-Imerialism: Trans-national corporations
A growing trend seems to be developing in the behaviour of TNCs, increasingly now they are locating their manual labour plants in third-world contries, taking advantage of their willingness to work at any cost. In third world countries their traditional ways of life are disappearing, there is no longer a need to work on the paddy fields or in the mill, they can go and work at the new Nike plant instead. The wages are higher and the working conditions, generally better than their previous occupation, all seems good. But what if a worker wants to leave, or wants to challenge the company for unfair treatment? There are no unions to back him up, if he challenges the corporation, hes fired, left to hopelessly restart his old occupation. The TNC can do whatever it wants, the government isnt going to stop it, its blinded by the billions of dollars the company brings to their nation and the prospect of reduced unemployment. So the workers are left in a never-ending life of sowing trainers together and assembling parts of high-tech goods which we take for granted. What will their sons and daughters do? Will they work on the fields for a meagre wage? No, and they probably cant go to school either, they'll work in the TNC's factory, making shoes. So the cycle continues, the people wont get out of it, they dont have the chance and cant take the risk of leaving.
It is because of this that the third-world will stay perpetually poor, they will continue to be the production plant of the west, because there is no other choice. People always say, "well the third-world may be poor now, but in 50 years they'll be just as rich as us". I disagree, did Britons work in massive shoe-making factories in the industrial revolution? Did they answer to an unrelenting, foreign master when Britain was developing into an economic superpower?
TNCs are also muscling in on homeland industry. Small businesses set up by peasants are overpowered by massive corporations with their mechanised factories. The character of these nations is being lost, its being globalised, McDonalds are springing up everywhere and large hard-labour plants replace farmland and small business.
These corporations stem development in their host countries, by globalising the culture and attracting workers to their manual labour plants they are reducing space for free thought and development. If the workers continue to earn a meagre wage, instead of developing their own businesses and hopefully becoming richer, how is the economy and GDP of the nation going to improve? In fact large TNCs have higher GDPs than most countries in the developing world. If all business and free enterprise is supressed there will be no room for change, improvement and growth, these nations will stay developing unless something drastic happens. Posted at 07:27 pm by Jon
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